Thailand: Anticipation and Preparations

Our trips to Thailand were not sudden decisions but a given: we knew we would go to Thailand every year, spend time with good friends, travel in the country, venture outside it, and have new experiences, so the anticipation was tied up with warm thoughts of friendships renewed and meals shared again.

Group photograph after dedication of new spirit house at Dusit Thani Hotel, Hua Hin, includes the monk who performed the ceremony, the GM, electrician, housekeeper, gardener, various room and restaurant staff – and myself and husband.

But why Thailand in the 1970’s? Well, our travel agent had invited us to an evening of Thai culture and food earlier that year and we were bowled over by the experience of meeting Thais, their charm, their smiles and their sincerity and so our first holiday turned into one of many.

When we first started visiting Thailand, we packed essential foods as Western foods weren’t easily available outside 5* Hotels so biscuits, tea bags, and bags of toffees and other long-lasting sweets had to be purchased (my husband had a notoriously sweet tooth).  In later years the bags of sweets increased as our Thai friends became addicted to them also.  Mosquitoes were a big problem – especially in Bangkok – so lots of anti-mozzie repellent was required along with sun cream and such like.

Initially we alternated Thailand with other destinations but after our circle of friends there grew and the pull of friendship and place began, it became our regular vacation spot.

After our first few visits, preparations had to include the buying of presents. We tried to ensure the presents were as ‘local’ to our area as we could get and even though no one every made tea in a teapot, they all adored English teapots, and all things English. The exchanging of presents in Thailand is very important and the correct etiquette is not to open the gift in front of the giver. I had to get used to the fact that no one ever came back to say what a lovely present I had given them, but they showed their delight in other ways and the exchange of presents was always successful. I was invariably there for my birthday and not opening my presents was difficult, as I would be deluged with exquisitely wrapped hand-made presents, Buddha medals, unusual gifts purchased in remote villages (like a necklace made from the bone of an logging-elephant), carvings, fruits, foods and pictures.

We would always visit a Temple or two and often attend functions where monks were present so packing had to include cover-ups and easy-to-slip-out-of shoes. Apart from ceremonies where monks were present, like weddings, funerals, donating of robes, and blessing of houses etc., I occasionally lined up at dawn with my Thai hosts to offer the monks food for the day (purchased a few minutes before from the market), I made offerings to the spirits at various spirit houses – and always to those in the houses of the friends I stayed with, to ensure my good health while there and to avert disasters.

Hard hat area. The laying of foundations for a new dwelling cannot proceed until the spirits have been appeased for disturbing them – hence the feast laid out for them.

I packed a mini-library because English books – apart from a few places in Bangkok – weren’t easily available in Thailand in the seventies. As we both read voraciously we took as many as we could and swapped with other English-readers we met on our travels. In remote parts of the country we would often find books left in bars and cafes which could be exchanged for another one.

Apart from that, no preparations. Books, presents, tea-bags and biscuits, sweets and the duty-free booze from the airport, and we were prepped and ready for holiday.

After our friends had been to the spirit house at the airport and given thanks for our safe arrival, we would pile into a car/taxi/mini-bus /whatever they had arranged and head off either for Bangkok or Hua Hin, a two hour drive away. The next few days were spent relaxing, recovering from the flight and adjusting to the heat, then the discussion as to where we would go began.

Over the years we’ve covered the four corners of Thailand and seen things we’d never have seen if we’d been alone. From our base in Thailand we’ve made long trips to Cambodia, Laos, and Vietnam with contacts in each country lined up for us.

Our first trip was in 1972, the year of the major coup, and in that year we saw the two faces of Thai, the angry revolutionary and the quiet, peaceful one – both smiled. Politics are once again ugly in that country and I am sad about much of what is happening there. We don’t discuss the current situation much, my Thai friends and I, it’s a sensitive subject, and that too saddens me.

Before Thailand became our major holiday destination we travelled extensively in other parts of the world. We enjoyed every country we visited, but with Thailand it was love at first sight and it remains close to my heart.

I still have hopes of visiting again, to make and receive the wai as I join my hands together, smile, and say Sawasdee, Ka.

8 Comments

  1. How wonderful to find somewhere that you feel so at home in. My experience of Thailand is limited to a few nights in Bangkok en route to Laos. I found it too big and busy until we discovered travelling by river was so much easier than by road. I’ve still never been to Vietnam or Cambodia. I hope I’ll get there some day.

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  2. I do feel we were lucky to meet Thais that we connected with so quickly. Our cultures are so different that I still think it amazing. Some years ago 3 of them came to spend time with us in October and we had to perform Loi Krathong, floating candles on water, late one evening on a lake not far from where we lived. This involved lighting a candle – in a wind – and it brought a patrolling police car to us who thought we were a group of ancient druggies firing up! A year after my husband died we held another wake for him in our favourite Thai village by the sea and it is one of the best memories I have.

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  3. Oh Mari, I can feel your love for Thailand and the Thai people in this post. How wonderful that you made so many close friends and visited every corner of the country over many years. That’s such an interesting story about the gifts exchanged and how you don’t open them in front of the giver. And fascinating as well is Loi Krathong, floating candles on water, that you mention in your comment to Anabel.

    I feel like I just skimmed the surface in my visit, as well as learning a lot about the political and economic situation through my Master’s classes. But I didn’t get to immerse myself into the culture over an extended period as you did. What a wonderful experience. How long has it been since you were there? And will you plan to go back soon?

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  4. I would go back tomorrow but unfortunately, I have a problem with a hip and a knee now and my eyesight has deteriorated rapidly over the last year due to macular degeneration, so travelling alone is not something I can do as easily as I once did. Long haul is especially difficult. After my husband died, my sister became my travelling companion but she has had problems recently and we stick to Europe now. None of my friends enjoys the heat, so I’m at a bit of a loss. I nearly booked a flight last night when I was looking out photographs for the blog but resisted but I think I will manage it next winter. I’ve never done ‘personal’ before so thank you for encouraging me to do so. I may venture there again, I found it quite liberating.

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  5. Sad not to be able to carry on this wonderful relationship in person, Mari. I presume you correspond when you can, though I know eyesight is a problem there? I found it particularly moving that they gave your husband such a lovely farewell. 🙂 🙂 Thailand was the country that fired my youthful imagination, and I was desperate to see those pagodas. Fate took a hand and I never did make it to the Far East. I watched tsunami and shootings on the beach with horror, and still I’d love to go. I hope you make it back, but if not, you have so many wonderful memories.

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  6. Thanks, Jo. I am trying to pluck up courage to write about my husband’s wake in Thailand as it really was so lovely. I can do it easily, but one or two friends think it a trifle ‘unseemly’ to make a post of it. I don’t know. We scattered his ashes from a boat on the Gulf of Thailand, took masses of photographs (which a couple of his relatives still haven’t looked at) and I think it’s a lovely, heart-warming story. Maybe too personal though! I was there at the tsunami and I lost two good friends whose bodies have never been found. Now that’s something I haven’t been able to write about although I posted about my return to Khao Lak earlier.

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  7. I never see your replies unless I come looking for the original post, Mari, so I’ve just got to this one. I think if it gives you joy you should write about your husband’s wake. It’s your blog to write what you feel and nobody is forced to read it.

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